Day 16 - Diary from Karabakh… We Will Live and We Will Smile

By Lika Zakaryan, Stepanakert

Photo by David Ghahramanyan

It’s a relatively quiet day. I met my dad and together we went to get bread. These days, I hardly find the courage to leave the shelter and risk videotaping or photographing the destruction.

I saw many people - acquaintances and non-acquaintances. This was spectacular. Sometimes, sitting in a shelter, it seems to me that the people next to me are the only ones who really exist in the world. Like in the movies about an apocalypse.

There is one phrase in my head that we used to write during the era of "Odnoklassniki" [Russian social media platform]. It goes like this: "Even in war people smile,, so you don't want to live life sitting on your couch." And we would say to each other: ’’Oh, how bad and negative we are, so many wars are going on in the world, and we complain about this and that.’’ But everything has changed. Today, we are the people who smile in war. Of course, we cry, we worry, we are afraid, too, but we also laugh, we try to support each other. Is this good or bad? You tell me ...

I also met two Kristinas, brought them bread and had a heart-to-heart talk. We exchanged information, asked about relatives on the frontline, discussed politics, abandoned dogs in the city, and what we most lack in our everyday life.

Was visiting Hovig, in the Samra cafe. A Syrian-Armenian who moved here during the Syrian war. It is very ironic to escape from one war and get involved in another. But he said that this time the war is different, this one for the homeland is worth it. He fed the journalists warm soup  and did not take any money. He said that he helps in any way he can.

At the end of the day I received a very valuable gift. My little sister is in Yerevan now, our parents sent her. We are feeling very connected to each other. Her first word was "mom," but she called ME that, not our mom. She wrote me a poem today, which I would have shared with you but she asked me not to show anyone. So I’ll let it stay between us sisters. It was the warmest thing that has happened to me since the war began...

I now know that smiling in war is good. And then you can go crazy. We will smile and live. I don't know how we should live in order to be worthy of those who sacrificed their lives in order for us to live on our native land. But we will live and we will smile!